I Wish

I wish.  There are so many things that we unfortunately have to say no to:  our kids, friends, co-workers, managers … ourselves.  And saying no can be so hard – to say and for the recipient to hear.  I wish can soften the blow.

• I wish I could take the lead on that project, but it will take me away from this other priority.

• I have some difficult news to share and I wish there could be a different outcome, but this is based on the state of the business.

• I wish I could make that work, but unfortunately, I cannot.

  
  

A large component of my coaching is centered on navigating difficult conversations; difficult is in the eye of the speaker. It could be difficult because the news is bad, but it can also be difficult (particularly for my people-pleasers) because you don’t want to say no and fear disappointing someone else.  We anticipate letting someone down or not meeting their expectations and that is hard.  

I wish naturally grounds you in alignment and helps you lead with empathy.  It implies that this was not an easy outcome, but a decision that was weighed and measured, well thought out and not rash.  It softens the tone but does not waiver on the outcome.  

When you are faced with delivering a message that may not land well, consider I wish as a prelude.  Feel how it changes the tone and your approach. Recognize how it makes your point less adversarial and softens the interaction.  Practice delivering the message inserting I wish into your talk track.  Then lean into the difficult conversation and see if it isn’t, well … less difficult.  

This is what I wish for you.