Mother...a Verb

Mother … A Verb.  No, this isn’t a Mother’s Day post.  Mother’s Day is complicated for many, for many reasons, so this is intentionally being sent this week, separate and apart from last weekend’s celebrations.  This is about the action of caring, mentoring, supporting and loving.  It is not gender specific and it does not require birth or adoption.  Everyone can mother; everyone benefits from being mothered.

This post is about the many people in my village who have helped me mother my children.  Before they were born, I knew I wanted to create a community to nurture and support my children. I wanted them to know that they did not have to come to me, but that they would have a village of adults who could be safe spaces, trusted resources and guides to help them navigate life.  When they faced obstacles, challenges and opportunities, I wanted them to know they were not alone.  I never imagined how big or how supportive that network would be.

Over the years, my kids have been surrounded by adults who have looked them in the eye, listened with interest, checked-in on them and offered advice.  These relationships are separate and apart from me – direct connections that evolved as they grew.  There are the obvious:  family, aunts and uncles.  And many more through my friends and professional network.  The many co-workers who have shown up and supported are too many to mention, but when I hear that they texted with, emailed or spoke to my child, I am reminded that mother is a verb and action is in taking action.

The question for you is who do you mother?  Who could you create a relationship with that would benefit from your guidance, expertise and support?  As a flood of college graduates hit the market, could you forge a relationship that mentors and coaches a young adult (or many) through the interview process, how to show up as a young professional, navigating first job challenges and opportunities.        

It takes very little effort to check in on someone in your network that is looking for work or navigating a career pivot, but that outreach could mean the world to them and pay huge dividends.  It could be someone you know directly or someone you barely know at all.  Remembering what it is like to feel alone or isolated; remembering what it is like to feel seen and heard.  

As we acknowledge May as Mental Health Awareness month, apply the act of ‘mothering’ to anyone in, adjacent to, or wanting to join your personal and professional networks.  Let’s all mother … a verb: to coach, connect, guide and support.  It can be game changing.