Self-Editing. I spent the day with a close friend’s daughter. While I have known her since she was born, this was the first 1:1 time where I really got to see and know her. She is remarkable. Currently on a journey of exploration to figure out where she wants to live, what she wants to do, and what her purpose is, her current path is not unlike my nomad adventure (just many years earlier). Neither of us are ready or willing to make a choice that feels permanent; we both keep seeking.
In our conversation, she shared that there was an opportunity that she was really interested in with the National Parks, but she needed more experience and had to re-do her portfolio to be a viable applicant. As she spoke the words, I heard what I hear from so many women – that they don’t have everything that the job is looking for, that they don’t want to apply until their credentials and skills are 100%.
There was an internal Hewlett Packard report that said
The study has been cited many times in regard to confidence, but the conversation with this young woman was slightly different. I don’t believe she lacked confidence in applying, but instead believed that she had to have done the position already prior to raising her hand. Yet, the opportunity was about gaining experience – in this case, an artistic pursuit tied to nature.
As we talked, I saw her face light up. Could she use the skills she already possessed to tell the story of why she would be the right candidate for this role? Could transferable skills and the fact that she did not have this unique experience be exactly what would resonate with those who would evaluate her application?
The fact is many of us self-edit and I don’t believe it is always tied to lack of confidence. It may be rooted in fear or not wanting to waste someone else’s time. We are quick to discount what we have accomplished and our potential for what we assume they are looking for. Fact is, if we don’t allow ourselves to be considered, we will never know IF they will grant us the opportunity or how we can be better prepared in the future. Feedback from the process can make us a more qualified candidate in the future.
When an opportunity is presented, there is a wish list for the ideal candidate. Similar to purchasing a home, your ideal is a 4 bedroom, 3 bath on an acre in a good school district. But those home shows never present an option with all the boxes checked. The work or project opportunity has an ideal candidate outlined but what you have may be different or better. You only know if you take a chance.
As we wrapped up our visit, I wondered how many times I had edited myself and didn’t offer myself the same advice I was offering her.
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